Lyle Edwards and Burning Rubber Products (BRP)

[Note: The is left in the FAQ entirely for historical interest. It refers to an series of silly posts made by then-listee Liam 'Leggo' Downing, who has since vanished without trace or, even worse, become a roadie.]

In response to the query often made by newbies Who is this Lyle Edwards and what's BRP all about? Liam Downing offers this explanation, which may or may not help.

Lyle is an American visionary, an entrepreneur and inventor of many ingenious mountain biking products that have greatly improved the sport. He has copped lots of flack for his ideas that some consider bizarre, and has therefore missed out on being inducted into the Mountain Biking Hall of Fame due to political reasons. He first burst into the public's awareness in a big way in 1997, when he unselfishly sacrificed his opportunity to participate in the incredible MTB-OZ mailing list discussions by promoting to the other list members' awareness the existence of his latest product, tyre warmers for mountain bikes. What followed shall go down in infamy. Johnjohn flew off the handle, resulting in one of the greatest delistifications of all time. Naughty words were mentioned.

Liam Downing leapt to his defence, along with many other list members. Since then, Lyle has overseen the growth of his company to such a level that he is now impersonating John Glenn on the Space Shuttle, and owns 40% of NASA, with an option of a further 40% in two years time. Lyle Edwards is a supreme visionary, and should be treated as such. Here is what some slight celebrities have to say about him:

John Howard, PM Australia: I have never used MTB tyre warmers as good as BRP, I'm going to cut tariffs so I can get me a set.

Kim Beazley, Labour Leader: These edible grips are so handy. Hahahahaha. And they taste good too. Give me more you little shit.....

Bert Newton, Minor Celebrity: Wow Lyle, and how much do these cost? $199.95 plus P&H? How do you do it? Belvedere, come over here, try these!

(Fuck off Kev)

Larry Emdur, Minor Celebrity: The Price Is Right!!!!!

Hercules Smedley, Accountant: I have tried every mountain bike tyre warmer and this is almost the best.

Mountain Bike Action: In our ten top tyre warmer shootout mega issue, we found that BRP tyre warmers were at the top of our list with a score of 7.8. We also found that our readers average IQ is actually lower than that score.

BIKE: In our article, Booze, Marijuana and tyre warmers, we found that tyre warmers are no substitute for beer or dope, but when heated enough, a tyre warmer makes a satisfactory lighter.

Elvis Presley: Can I cook my cheeseburger on it baby? Uh huh uh huh. Hunka hunka burnin lurve.

Kate Fischer: What's a bicycle?

Kurt Cobain: Sure I hate myself and I want to die, but BRP tyre warmers make life almost worthwhile. (c 1993)

Bill Gates: How did you get my phone number?

MTB-OZ listers: Where's the beer man?

BRP is the company founded by Lyle Edwards. It manufactures such delectable items as Tyre Warmers (of course) and edible bicycle parts of varying descriptions. It is a wholly owned subsidiary of Wae Dae Yung, yet Lyle is currently worth approximately $1957 Billion, and has the power to destroy economies bigger than the USA. So look out, because when he's angry, he's ANGRY. BRP sponsors teams of varying descriptions, and is currently looking for a young, energetic freerider, or a drunk old bastard. Either one will do. BRP has recently expanded into road riding, and is currently testing a shifting system based on the hunger of the rider. Lose weight the easy way with BRP.

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